Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What happens when I stop trying to save myself.

I mentioned last week that I'm back in the market for a roommate. So far all the responses I've gotten have been from older men. I'm not cool with that. I've had a couple of male roommates in the past but there was always another female in the house as well. So yeah... lot's of men looking for places to live. Just my luck.

I've recently been putting my writing skills* to good use. I wrote a script that was professionally produced and I've been writing grants as well as content for an online course being put together by a non-profit. Of course I've been doing all of the above for free in exchange for the resume boost. I'm not making any extra cash.

Yesterday I got the "brilliant" idea to see what other ways I can write for money. I've been heard a lot about the 50 Shades of Grey book. I even tried to read the first chapter on Amazon. I'm a bandwagon jumper-on-er, sue me. I wasn't impressed. But I thought, hey, I could do that. I ended up spending the rest of the afternoon writing my first erotic story. It took me quite a while to even get to the beginning of the "good" stuff. Then I had to abandon the new enterprise to go to bible study. I know, I know, what kind of hypocrite does that make me?

It turns out, God was not going to let me take myself there. I was sitting in the church last night feeling quite icky for what I'd been doing, rationalizing my booty off. "I'll only write about married couples!" or "Just because I write it it's the reader's responsibility to police themselves" and thoughts like that.

In the end, I came to the realization that I can do better.  I don't need to pollute my thoughts or enable others to do the same.


I just got an email from someone who needs a place to live for the summer. Looks what happens when you let God solve your problems instead of blindly grasping for any rope that appears.

Wow. Just wow. I'm not saying anything is going to happen with this chick, but it's a start!

*Don't judge my skills by what you see here, this is my happy place and I can post bad writing if I want to.

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