Thursday, July 28, 2011

Early one morning just as the sun was rising*

Is there anything more wonderful that waking up whenever you wake up? For me it's somewhere between 8 and 9. But for some reason this morning I was awake at 6:30 and just couldn't get back to sleep.

I'd been up late the night before celebrating. My publisher had just accepted my second book and a large advance was on its way. She'd even mentioned putting me on contract for another three books. Squee!

Who would have guessed? Me? Silly, socially awkward, Tobie, living it up in NYC as a published author? Only in my wildest dreams!

Knowing better than to wake Christy up, I slipped into a pair of jeans a hoodie intending to grab coffee and something sweet at the bakery down the block. I was in such a hurry I almost forgot to grab the key to the apartment (thank-you Christy's sister's in-laws for letting us stay here while you're out of town!).

I was locking the door behind me when the neighbor across the hall came out of his apartment.

"Morning," he mummbled, not even looking at me. He was cute. If you like the whole tall dark and handsome look.

"Hi," I replied pulling on the door to try to get the deadbolt to engage. It wasn't wanting to click into place.

"It's kind of tricky," my mystery neighbor said reaching around me to lift and pull the knob as he deftly slid the lock home. "I'm Sam, you must be Christy. Charlie and Simone told me about you."

"Oh no, I'm Christy's friend Tobie. Nice to meet you and thanks," I nodded my head at the door as I shoved the keys into my pocket and getting my first good look at him. Holy crap was he gorgeous. Dark hair, a day's worth of stubble and pale blue eyes that I couldn't seem to look away from as we walked down the hall to the stairs.

"Where you headed?" Sam asked as he held the lobby door open for me.

Was is my imagination or was he having trouble looking away from me too?


Well that was fun! Many thanks to MajorBedhead for the inspiration: 
        An early spring morning, somewhere in New York City.

Like to write and want to play? Check out the II Challenge

*Name that tune.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The green envelope





Green! Green! Green!

Kermit the frog.


Pine trees.

And now envelopes.

No return label, just my name and address beautifully written in flowing black letters across its kelly green expanse. Inside was another green envelope. This one a pale mint color. Miss Florence and Guest was written in the same lovely calligraphy. Another wedding. Between these and all the baby showers I'd been going to lately I was never going to be able to save enough money to go to Europe next year.

Gordon and Lydia Kyle
invite you to the marriage of their daughter
Melinda Sue
Henry Bradford Lange

I couldn't read past the groom's name.

Brad was getting married.

Not to me.


Thanks Dili for the inspiration as part of the II Writing Challenge.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Something has got to change.

I weighed myself over the weekend. For the first time in months. Guess what? I've managed to gain 22 pounds. In approximately 3 months. WTF?

After crying a little, thinking some pretty bad thoughts, and crying some more I went out and ate some crap food. Talk about vicious cycle.

I KNOW something has to change. I know what I need to do. Eat better and exercise. I can't even say exercise more because that would imply that I do any exercise at all. I hate it.

So I took my first step last night. I moved my treadmill into the house from the garage where it had been sitting for the last year. I positioned it right next to the TV in the living room so I will have plenty to entertain me.

Right now I'm watching Sick Fat & Nearly Dead on Netflix streaming. It is really amazing. I have a few friends and cousins who are juicing and I even have a juicer. What's stopping me?

Pure laziness.

So here I go. I'm kind of broke right now so it will have to wait to begin officially until the first of next month. In the meantime I can plan. I do so love to plan.

Wish me luck and send me your prayers.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Worth It

It's that time again! Time for the Indie Ink challenge. I swear one of these day's I'll write something that isn't in response to these challenges but for now you get what you get. My challenge this week comes from Cedar.

Role reversal: The housewife has become the sole provider.

I struggled with this a little bit. Only because I have no clue as to what it would feel like to be a housewife. But I know all about being sole-provider. It's up to me and me alone to keep the dog and cat in kibble and the roof over our heads. I'm green with envy towards the lucky people who have found someone to love and help pay the bills.  Not to mention the hugs I could demand whenever I want...

The baby was crying again. 

Jane cracked open one eye and saw the alarm read 5:57. Three minutes before it would start screaming at her to WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP! For some reason she was really resentful of losing those three tiny minutes. But the baby was crying and her husband was snoring, as usual.

"Simon," she nudged her husband, "Gaby's awake." No response. "Oh don't get up, darling. You rest up for your big day of sitting on the couch. Let me see to your daughter," Jane grumbled throwing off the blanket and yanking on her bathrobe.  5:59. At least the alarm would wake him up, she thought with a slight smile.


"Honey I'm home!" Jane called out as she walked into the kitchen from the garage. No response. "Simon?" Her heels click-clacked on the tile she'd agonized over the summer before. She still wasn't sure she'd made the right choice. The slate gray was gorgeous, but she'd been drawn to a pale green as well. Simon had voted for the gray so that's what they ended up with. That and a staggering second mortgage that was currently eating up the majority of of their savings while Simon looked for another job.

She'd walked all through the downstairs of their house noticing that for once Simon had managed to clean-up after himself and their daughter. The toy box hadn't been properly closed, but it looked like all of the toys were inside it so she'd let it slide.

"Simon!" she yelled this time. Her voice echoing back at her. Their entryway with its twenty foot ceiling and eight foot wide staircase was ridiculously over-the-top. But at the time they entertained, a lot, and it had seemed to make sense.

Jane looped her purse and laptop bag over the newel post and started up the stairs. Pausing half-way up to remove her shoes. "Much better," she sighed as her aching feet met the soft carpet.

She peeked in Gaby's room as she passed, the lights were off and her crib empty. She made her way to the last door at the end of the hall. Passed out on the bed, surrounded by children's books was her husband. Their eighteen month old daughter curled up against his chest. Both sound asleep.

Jane let her shoes fall from her fingers onto the plush carpet as she took of her jacket and crawled into bed next to the most important people in her world with a smile.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The worst day of my life.

It has been a week since I had to have my cat Echo put to sleep.  I still get a little teary about it. He was so young…

I know some of my friends think I’m crazy for being so upset about a CAT. An ANIMAL. But most of them do not have pets or particularly like animals so I shouldn’t expect them to understand.
It was just so out of the blue. He’d been acting strangely all weekend. Monday morning my roommate dropped him off at the veterinarian for me and a few hour later the doctor called and told me she couldn’t find an obvious reason for his illness and would have to do some blood tests. She also wanted to keep him overnight because he was dehydrated and had lost a lot of weight in the last few days. Still I was expecting that he’d be able to be fixed. It might be expensive, but it would be worth it.

Less than 24 hours later the doctor called me again. The news was grim. He was in kidney failure and his ketone (I think – I was in a bit of a state) levels were crazy high. Like five times normal. Still I was thinking, OK it’s going to be expensive. I was right, it would be an expensive treatment that might give him another six months. Another six months spent having to be given daily subcutaneous fluids, administered by me, repeated visits to the vet and me back at the same place in six months with a very sick kitty.

I lost it.

I was at work.

I couldn’t stop sobbing. Messy, loud, uncontrollable sobbing. Luckily I work with my dad and brother so I was able to get it out. 

I had a big decision to make. 

Rationally I knew what I needed to do. Emotionally I was having trouble making the decision. It took four hours but finally made the call. I was going to get to see him and say goodbye first. I knew I wouldn’t be able to be with him when they gave him the injection. How selfish of me? I let him die with strangers! I hate myself for being too weak to be there. 

When I went to say goodbye he looked like he’d lost more weight, even hooked up to an IV and being flushed with fluids. He was also drooling uncontrollably. But as soon as I picked him up he began to purr and the sobs started again. 

He was my baby. The sweetest cat you can imagine, not one of those hissing bitchy cats that hates everyone, but a loving cuddly companion who liked to lay in the crook of my arm, taking affection when it was offered but never demanding it.

My mom was with me though it all and we took him to her house for burial. The house I grew up in, in the country with lots of space. He was buried near a blooming plum tree not far from the grave of my parent’s beloved dog, Bob. 

My dad had dug the grave before we got there so there wasn’t much to do but put him in it and cover it with soil. My mom is working on a marker for his grave. 

I miss him.

This was my response to a challenge from The Drama Mama, as part of the Indie Ink Writing Challenge. I was given the words: immortal, incumbent, echo, time. As soon as I saw the word echo I couldn’t write about anything else. It’s all a little too raw still. I’ll do better next time.