I’m obsessed with my hair.
I’ve been thinking of almost nothing else for the last three days.
I even sent out very-late-night text messages to a few close friends with pictures of me with my hair pulled up and away to resemble the style I’m thinking about getting. When the picture messages didn’t go through instantly I emailed the photos. Then lay in bed staring at the indicator light on my phone until I got a response.
Dina: I like it!
Christy: A haircut? Cute. I think. Hard to tell. Is it shorter in back?
I then spent the next 45 minutes texting them both back and forth weighing the pros and cons of cutting my hair. Not how to solve world hunger or bring about peace in the Middle East… my hair. I finally pooped out and went to sleep firmly convinced that chopping off 9-12” was the best idea I have had in a long time. Never mind that I’ve been pointedly not cutting it for the last 3 or so years (aside from the occasional trim of course – I’m not a complete hippie).
One of the reasons I was growing out my hair is that I have a vision of myself thin, tall, with flowing dark hair. I’ve got the height and long hair, but thin… I’m pretty sure I’ll never be. Now wait. I’m not some crazy person who is actually thin but thinks she’s fat. I’m fat. REALLY fat. Like TLC reality show level of fat.
I declared three years ago that I wouldn’t cut my hair again (aside from trims obv.) until I reached my goal weight of 160 lbs. I’m not going to embarrass myself by telling you how far away I ma from that goal, but I will tell you at one point I’d lost 40 lbs. then gained it all back (plus some) in about six months.
I have babied my hair like crazy. I went an entire year using baking soda instead of shampoo (thank you God, that Loreal came out with a sulfate-free line), I rarely blow-dry/curl/flatiron, don’t use dye. Aside from some serious split ends (an unfortunate result of the ONE time I decided to attempt to get my hair stick-straight a few months ago). Do I want to leave all of that time and effort on the salon floor?
Am I admitting defeat? Accepting that I will have hair down to my toes before I see my weight dip below 200? Or am I just tired of constantly cleaning giant hair babies out of my shower drain? Would the new “Do” inspire me to work harder at my weight-loss? The world is supposed to end on May 21st anyway, so who cares? Is anyone still reading this? Bueller?
My appointment is right after work. I have 5-ish hours to make up my mind.